The Time Has Come
by Pirateofthenight
Summary: AU AH The time is World War 1, the place is Chicago. The people are Bella, Edward, and Jake. A dead soldier, a hurt one, one twisted love triangle. ExB, BxJ, AxJas, RxEm, EsxC
1. Lettters

DISCLAIMER: no I don't own the twilight saga or its characters….but I do own this story line so anyone steals it I kill them!

Quick Author's Note: yes I know these are annoying….but I feel the need to say this again anyone steals my story idea I will murder you in your sleep. Got it? Ok on to happier topics, this should be fast updating. Key word should. I have the whole story outlined and lots of time on my hands so it should go fast. Yes I have a planed end it'll be long ways away though. And remember reviews make me want to stay up all night typing the story…..so review!

His letter arrived today; it said he would be home by October 13th, the date on the letter said September 20th. Today was the 1st he would be back soon he would never have to leave me again. At least that was what the papers said, that the war would be over soon. He would be safe. I couldn't stop the smile the crept up my face. He had been gone for 7 months; fighting the Germans, he was in France according to the letter. He would be home he said because the war was almost over, that they didn't need him anymore. I couldn't stay happy forever though, the death crept back into my head as a glanced at the clock soon I would have to go to the hospital for my shift, the least I could for him. I took care of the sick and injured soldiers hoping to never see anyone I knew, especially him.

I clutched the letter to my chest thinking of how in two weeks he would come up those steps, I would run out to meet him. He would lift me up and kiss me not caring that the neighbors might see or that my father would be furious. He would spin me around and I would tell him how I waited for him and how I loved him. He would go straight into the house and ask for my father's permission for us to be married, and he would give me the ring. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen. We would be married in the church down the road and only his parents, my father, Alice, Jacob, and Jasper would be there. I would look beautiful in my mother's white gown.

The sound of a car outside the house broke me from my trance, who could that be? I glanced out to see who it was; the car was plain black, out of the car stepped two men in uniform. My heart stopped beating, why were they here? They shouldn't be here, he was coming home. They knocked on the door 

but I couldn't move, he can't be, he said he'd be home. They knocked again, I made myself walk to the door, it was the longest walk of my life. I opened the door slowly.

"Excuse me miss are you Isabella Swan?" one of them asked.

I tried to speak but found I couldn't so I nodded.

"We're sorry to inform you but your fiancé Edward Masen has died. His plane was shot down three days ago. We're sorry for your loss." The first man said handing me an envelope.

The tears started to fall more rapidly down my face now soon they would turn to sobs. I was too shocked to even care that he had said fiancé. I clutched the letter in one hand and held on to the door frame with the other.

"Miss Swan, he wrote this to you the day he died. It hasn't been opened, I knew Edward, and he loved you with his whole heart. He so wanted to come back to you, it was his last mission." The second man said this handing me a letter in his handwriting.

Seeing it made a sob escape from me, the men looked at me with compassion, and turned to leave. They got into their black car and drove away before I sank to my knees crying.


	2. More disaster

DISCLAIMER: no I don't own the twilight saga or its characters….but I do own this story line so anyone steals it I kill them!

A/N: told you it would be fast update!

Sometime later the sobs stopped, then the tears. The pain only got worse, he was dead, gone he would never come home to me. My, our, dream was gone. He would never walk up those steps or kiss me or marry me. He was gone, I stood up, I couldn't sit in the door all day long. As I walked back to the parlor the tears started again, my Edward is gone. He'll never come back to me, he died without me by his side, he died.

I sat and opened the first letter it was in handwriting I didn't recognize. It explained that he had died in the line of duty and was shot down by a German fighter plane. It said that he had gone around to shoot the plane down to try and save a friend. It sounded like Edward, he was so good. Another plane shot him down, his plane crashed into the English Chanel. At the end of the letter it said that he was the man Edward saved, Henry Boyle another pilot.

The tears still fell down my face as I folded it carefully up and put it back into the envelope. I looked at his letter but could not open it, the pain was too much. It would kill me, how was I supposed to live without him in my life? How could I? Or more importantly why would I want to? There was no life without Edward Anthony Masen, he was my life. The only life I wanted.

That man had said my fiancé, how could he have known that. We decided not to tell anyone, that when he came back like he promised that he would ask for Charlie's permission. He must have told them that I was. That meant his parents didn't know, I stopped crying. Mrs. Masen didn't know that her son was not coming home to her. Mr. Masen didn't know that his 

son wouldn't be carrying on in his footsteps. I choked out another sob how stupid could he be not to have them told and to have me told? Why would he do that? They needed to know that their son wasn't coming home to them. I started to cry again, he wasn't coming home to them or me. He left me alone.

I glanced at the clock through my tears, I had to go to the hospital. The clock said six o'clock, how long had I sat there crying to myself? Charlie would be home soon, I had missed my shift. I wiped my eyes with my handkerchief. I got up to go to the kitchen Charlie would want supper, I had to put away the letters first, I couldn't let Charlie know that he was dead. Not until I could deal with it, Charlie would be mad at him and it would just make it hurt worse.

I walked slowly up the stairs, in my room I hid the letters in the bottom of my jewelry box, Edward had given it to me. I remembered complaining about the cost and that he didn't need to get me gifts. He had said it was to hide my deepest secrets in; it had a false bottom now I truly did have a secret. I changed out of the uniform I wore to the hospital and put on more suitable clothing. I washed away all the traces of tears in the wash basin on my dressing table then walked down stairs to make dinner.

As I set the water on to boil pasta, Edward slipped into my mind the pain in my chest was so swift I nearly fell to the ground. I couldn't let myself think about him, or anything dealing with him. I couldn't let Charlie know, I would have to be strong. Charlie only had me after Mother died of the influenza last year, I had to be strong for him. I heard the door opening and the clomp of Charlie's boots, he was a police officer.

He came straight to the kitchen, he stopped in the doorway he looked worn. Like he didn't want to tell me something, last time he looked at me like this is when Mother died.

"Bells honey something bad has happened." He paused. I couldn't take anymore bad news. "Jake is in the hospital, he might loose his leg."

The world started to spin and everything went black.

A/N: Please don't kill me for two depressing chapters I swear it will get better. There will be happiness! I swear….and remember reviews make me want to write, so review please!


	3. A Time in the Hospital

**DISCLAIMER: no I don't own the twilight saga or its characters….but I do own this story line so anyone steals it I kill them!**

_**A/N: it has come to my attention that roughly 24 people have read this yet only one has reviewed….see why this is a problem? It's so easy to review you hit the button at the bottom and said something, very simple. That being said thank you a Silent Symphony for the review. **_

"Bells, honey? Bella? Wake up. Bella?" I heard Charlie's voice. My eyes fluttered open he was holding me up. "Oh thank God! You terrified me there Isabella."

"I'm sorry Father. It was just such a shock that Jake was in the hospital, his leg is that bad?" I started to get up he let go of me quickly. Charlie was never one for showing his affection.

"Well honey, Billy said the doctors said he might loose it, he'll never walk without a limp in the best case."

The world spun a little again I leaned against the counter, "Are we going to visit him?"

"I don't think that's the best idea-"

I interrupted him, "No I want to see him, if you don't go with me I will just see him tomorrow."

He frowned at me. He hated that I worked in the hospital he thought it wasn't appropriate work for a young lady. He sighed, "Well I was going to visit him, so I suppose you can come. I'd feel better if I was with you for the first time."

I tuned the stove off, "Let's go."

He sighed again and started to walk to the door. I followed him and grabbed my coat off of the hanger in the hall closet. I followed close behind him to his automobile, the thing terrified me, it went too fast, I preferred to walk. I got in slowly, he cranked the engine then we were off. The drive was short only five minutes.

I nearly jumped from the contraption as soon as it stopped. Charlie chuckled. I walked into the hospital, this one was smaller then the main one, it was just for the soldiers. The other hospitals were full of people suffering from the influenza. It was getting so that it was dangerous to leave one's house anymore. Frances was at the counter she smiled at me.

"Well hello Bella, I did not think I would see you here tonight when you didn't come in earlier."

Charlie looked at me curiously, "I wasn't feeling well, we've come to visit Private Jacob Black. He is a dear family friend Frances."

"Oh yes Private Black, he's been giving Clara and Elsie a very difficult time. I don't think they've had a patient so bad since that General."

Yes the infamous General the worst patient the hospital had ever seen. He was a monster. I smiled at Frances, "I'll knock some sense into him, he only needs someone to force him to not be so mean."

"Well go ahead, his bed is the third row fourth bed. The curtain will probably be closed."

"Thank you Frances."

I started to walk to the set of double doors in the back of the room which led to the main room where all the injured and sick stayed, Charlie followed me.

"You weren't feeling well today? You shouldn't have come out tonight, I should have taken you to the doctor." He was starting to worry himself.

"It was just a headache, I promise." I stopped outside of the curtain to Jacob's bed. I could hear him arguing with Elsie. It sounded like she was trying to change the bandage and he wouldn't let her. I stifled a giggle.

I cleared my thought so she knew that someone was outside, it was just a courtesy we had developed since there were no doors. She came to the opening of the curtain, she gasped when she saw me. I pointed to the small 'room' asking if I could go in. I could feel my father's gaze on my back. Elsie nodded.

"Private Black another one of the nurses is here to change your bandage since you won't allow me to do it."

He very nearly growled at her. As she walked out Father and I walked in. He gasped and a smile shone on his face.

"Jacob Black why are you being so cruel to the nurses? They are just trying to help."

"I don't need any help if they would just let me walk around it would work itself out."

I rolled my eyes and started to unroll the bandage from his leg.

"Now now Bella don't you start doing that. I can do it."

I glared at him, "Liar, if everything is fine then move your leg for me." He tried and gasped in pain. "Now you are going to let me do this Jacob or so help me-"

"Isabella!" Charlie's tone said not to finish my threat and he thought I was being unladylike.

I continued to unroll the bandage the more I unrolled the more blood showed. I started to breath deeply through my mouth. The smell of blood made me faint, which made it ironic that I worked here. But I had a good reason for working here. I got the bandage off and could see the hole right in his thigh, it looked slightly infected.

"How are you Jacob?" Charlie asked.

"I've been better." They started to talk so I tuned it out.

I grabbed a bottle of alcohol that Elsie had left and started to clean the wound. If the infection got worse then he would have to loose it, I cleaned it thoroughly. Then grabbed a clean piece of gauze and placed it over the hole. He was shot it looked like it was from a machine gun, I learned the different types of damage done from the different weapons from looking at them day in and out. As I started to rewrap it I heard part of the conversation

"Yes I wish I could go back I still have a few of them Germans to kill."

My father chuckled, "How was the fighting?"

"Amazing it was one of the best things I have ever done."

I put my hand right on the wound and pushed, he gasped in pain as I glared balefully at him.

"What Bella? It was fun to kill a bunch of Germans, best part of the job." He smiled.

"Yes because killing people is such a good thing. Why can't you all just get together and talk about your problems?"

"Because we aren't women."

"Maybe if women ran this country it wouldn't be so bad then."

"Your saying that the emotions of women would be better then-"

"Yes Jacob that's exactly what I'm saying, at least we don't go out shooting each other nearly getting killed or killing for fun!" I glared at him.

"Isabella! I don't know what's gotten into you but you need to stop being so rude!" Charlie nearly yelled.

"No it's alright Charlie. Its fun to argue with Bella again." He smiled. "While your world might be safer it would be less exciting. I'm sorry to have offended you." He smiled again.

And I couldn't help but smile back at him, "I've missed you so much. I was so worried about you all the time."

"I'm glad!"

I laughed, and finished wrapping his leg. "There. Was that so bad? Now your bandage will have to be changed again before I get back and you Jacob Black will be polite to Clara or Elsie or whoever it is that comes in here. Got it?"

"Yes Mother." He smiled again.

"Jacob we have to be going, I'll come to visit you again next week." Charlie said.

"I look forward to it, but I better not still be in here." He said irate, it would nearly kill him to be locked up in here for more then one hour.

"Good bye Jacob I'll see you tomorrow, and you will still be here. Sleep well, and be nice."

We walked out and back to the dreaded automobile.

"Bella that was very unladylike of you in there this evening." Charlie said.

"I'm sorry Father. It won't happen again."

He sighed and drove us home.

_**A/N Ok so review review review….PLEASE!!**_


	4. Unforgetting Dreams

**DISCLAIMER: no I don't own the twilight saga or its characters….but I do own this story line so anyone steals it I kill them!**

_**a/n: See how fast I update? Couldn't you just review a little? A pre-warning: in this chapter and the next the time will be different, what I mean is the beginning will be right after the last chapter but starting about the middle it will be a few weeks later. I will warn you when it happens though, so no worries.**_

_He came up the steps and pulled me into his arms whispering sweet things into my ear. _

'_Walk with me?' _

_I take his hand as he leads me down the road to the park. Once there we sit down on a bench_

'_I love you Isabella Swan, I love you more then life itself. Will you marry me?' he pulls a beautiful ring from his pocket. _

'_Oh yes Edward, yes!' _

_He smiles his crooked smile and kisses me softly on the lips. _

'_But Edward, you're leaving. Charlie,'_

'_We can keep it a secret until I get home and I will ask for his permission. Then I will never have to leave your side ever again.'_

_I gulped, 'But, but what if you don't come back?' I stutter tears start to fall from my eyes._

_He kisses them away, 'That will never happen, I swear to you I will come back to you, no one can kill me. I will come back and then I will marry you Isabella Marie Swan.' _

_I nod and bury my head in his chest. _

_Suddenly his chest is no longer there, the ocean is in front of me. It is cold, I see something in the water. It is white and bloated, I walk slowly toward it. Then scream when I realize what it is, Edward is lying there dead floating in and out on the waves. _

I woke up suddenly; my face is wet from the tears I cried in my sleep. He was gone from me, I knew that he couldn't truly promise me that he would come home back but I had believed him just the same. His promise was broken; he wasn't coming home to me. The tears continued to fall from my eyes. The clock downstairs chimed 8 o'clock. I had to go to the hospital, I had to continue, no one could know.

I got up slowly and got dressed in my uniform and washed my face. I won't think about him today, I won't think about him. Maybe if I kept saying it to myself then it would become true. I walked slowly down the stairs careful not to trip. I grabbed my coat and walked out the door, the hospital would be welcome relief. I would need to focus on my work, I wouldn't think of him. But as a I walked I did, the force of the pain in my chest crippled me, it felt as though my chest had holes in it and I needed to hold myself together. I breathed deeply, I will not think, I will not think. Tears fell from my eyes I wiped them away furiously; I straightened up and ignored the pain in my chest. No one could know.

It took ten minutes to get to the hospital; I walked in and waved hello to Mattie and walked to a back room to put my things down and to get my assignments. Luck was not with me I tripped walking into the room right onto Alice.

"Way to make a grand entrance Bella." She huffed as I helped her up.

"I'm sorry Alice." I said.

"Are you alright? What's wrong Bella? What happened?"

I knew she would know something was wrong as soon as I saw her. I will not think about it, I will not think about it. "Nothing is the matter, why would you think that?" I didn't look into her eyes if I did she would know I was lying. I will not think about it.

"Don't lie to me Bella I'm your best friend. What is the matter?"

"Nothing is the matter Alice!" I snapped. Her face fell she looked betrayed, "I'm sorry Alice but I didn't sleep well."

She nodded but watched me closely I could tell she didn't believe a word that I said. I put my coat on a hanger and walked to the wall where all the jobs were posted. It said I was to change the sheets on the beds, I had to change Jacob's bandage apparently he requested that I do it. I sighed, then I had to change the dressing on several other patients, I scowled one was a head wound.

"What? That's not fair!" Alice screeched.

"What? What's the matter Alice?" I asked surprised.

"I have to clean bedpans! The bedpans!" she huffed.

"It must be done Alice, you know that."

"Then why don't you do it? You get cleaning the beds! Bedpans!"

I sighed and walked away, she would complain for awhile longer. I started to make the beds. It was rows five through ten that needed to be done. The first rows were done earlier and the others would be done later. It was simple mind numbing work, I would remove the sheets and put fresh ones on, the patients that could move on their own were put in wheelchairs while the others required teamwork. For that I had a young girl, she was in training, helping me. The whole time I repeated to myself I will not think, I will not think. It helped a little, the pain just dulled.

We finished the beds and I went to change the dressings on the other patients before going to Jacob. He would be harder to deal with, even if he just let me change it he would ask about me, the same way Alice had. It would be difficult not to, I will not think, I will not think, I will not think. The head wound was the last before lunch and then Jacob. The poor man a Sergeant was hit in the head by a piece of an exploding bomb. Amazingly he had survived, or was still breathing he might not live for long. I hated having to do his bandages because it still bled slightly and it oozed. It was disgusting. He lay there quietly, as I started to unwrap his head he grabbed my wrist.

"Helen, Helen is dinner ready? Are we having steak?"

I was shocked, "I'm not-"

"Helen I thought you said we were having steak."

His face was turned toward me his eyes unseeing, "Yes we're having steak Walter, I said we were didn't I?" His hand was burning mine, his fever was so high.

"Good I have been looking forward to that all day. I told Edward you would make it for me when I got home. He didn't believe me."

The name sent pain throughout my whole body I couldn't help but ask him, "Edward? Edward who darling?"

"You remember me telling you about him in my letters don't you, my friend Edward Masen."

Tears sprang to my eyes I fought them back fiercely. This man had been Edward's friend. "Y-Yes I-I rem-mem-ber." I stuttered.

"Helen are you alright? Was Sally rude again? I should tell her to never speak to my wife like that again."

"No Walter. I was just cold."

"I'm so hot Helen, it hurts so bad. Is the steak ready?"

"Not yet Walter."

"I told them you would make it for me. You make the best steaks in all of Illinois."

"Thank you Walter."

"Helen it's so hot here, can't you open a window?"

"No I'm sorry darling I can't, I can't make it not hot." My hand was starting to sweat under the heat of his hand.

"Ok then Helen, if you say so."

"Sleep Walter, sleep I will wake you when the steak is ready."

"I don't want to sleep Helen, I don't want you to leave me again."

"Sleep Walter I won't leave you I promise."

"If you promise Helen." He whispered drifting off into sleep again. His hand loosened on mine and I started to change the dressing.

He had known Edward, he had known my Edward. Tears came to my eyes again this time I could not stop them. The man's breathing slowed down more and more. Until by the time I was finished with his head it was just a faint trace. I checked his pulse it was faint and growing fainter.

"Helen? Helen where are you? Don't leave me." He whispered hoarsely.

"I won't." I said my voice thick with tears.

"Helen." He whispered. His breathing stopped. My tears continued to fall.

"Bella I was wondering-Oh God what happened?" Alice said running towards me from the opening in the curtains.

"He, he died. He kept talking to me like I was his wife. He, he knew…" a sob escaped from me.

"Shh, honey it's all right. It's all right. Why don't you go home? You're obviously not feeling well. It's alright Bella." She held onto me as I cried for a while, crying for Helen whoever she was and for myself. "Wipe your eyes Bella, it's alright."

I nodded and sat up wiping my eyes on the apron I wore. "I'm sorry Alice it was just, hard to listen to him speaking like that, then dying."

She looked at me funny, "I don't believe you, why were you really crying?"

I looked at her forcefully, "I told you. Thank you Alice I have more wounds to dress."

She shook her head at me as I walked out. She wouldn't let it go until I told her but I couldn't tell her, I just couldn't. I walked first to the front desk to inform Mattie of the death.

"Mattie, the man with the severe head wound Sergeant Walter O'Donnell, has passed. Can we make sure I women named Helen knows, I believe she was his wife."

"Of course Bella. Are you alright?"

"Yes. It was just hard."

"I understand. Well you get to go home soon, right?"

"Yes right after this next patient. Thank you Mattie."

I walked back into the main hospital, I grabbed the alcohol, gauze, and wrap and walked to Jacob's bed.

"Well finally I figured you would never show up." He said teasing me the moment I walked into his curtain area.

I tried to smile at him but couldn't make myself, I felt like I was about to crack. Instead of saying anything I got right to work on his leg.

"Hold it there Bella. What's wrong? What happened?" He sat up and grabbed my hand pulling me toward him.

I sat on the edge of his bed and suddenly it all came pouring out of me. Everything about Edward's death about the dream I had last night about the engagement about the man that just died knowing Edward, all of it. And I sat there on his bed crying softly into his shoulder.

"Shh Bells honey it's ok, it's ok. I'm here for you. It'll be alright. I'm here for you."

I sniffed a couple of times and wiped my eyes on the apron again, "I just can't tell anyone. I don't even know if Mr. and Mrs. Masen know. I just," The tears started again.

"It'll be alright, it'll be okay. I promise." He whispered wiping away the tears. "There no more tears. It'll be alright."

I nodded, "Thank you Jake. I needed that, but please don't tell anyone."

"I won't honey I promise."

I smiled softly, "Now I really have to change this." I sniffed.

"Go ahead Nurse Bella." He smiled trying to cheer me up.

I got up and cleaned and changed the bandages, "I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you again." I squeezed his hand and walked away.

I went to get my coat, Alice was waiting for me.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong with you or not?"

"Alice nothing is the matter just drop it please."

"Bella I'm your best friend I deserve to know."

"Alice nothing is the matter. I have to go home."

I walked out and home, at home it was harder not to think about him, without an audience. I again broke down and cried.

_**This is a few weeks later and Bella has the day off. **_

I sat down to read my latest novel by a woman named Jane Austen she was English, it was called Pride and Prejudice. As I read my eyes started to drift closed.

_Someone knocked on the door the day was October13th. I ran to the door knowing it would be him, that he had come home to me like he promised he would. I trip along the way, of course, but I get up again wrenched the door open. Edward stood there in his uniform he smiled at me and pulled me into his arms kissing my thoroughly. _

'_I've missed you my dear.' _

'_Your home now, I love you so much. I don't ever want you to leave me again.' _

_He laughed and kissed lightly, 'Alright, I'll even find a way for us to never die.'_

_I smiled up at him. There was a strange sound a knocking_.

I woke up slowly, someone was knocking on the door. It was him he had come home after all. It was all just a dream. I ran to the front door and pulled it open.

_**A/N: Yes I know evil author….but if you review I type more, or more importantly I don't put such mean cliff hangers….SO REVIEW REVIEW**_


	5. Found

**DISCLAIMER: no I don't own the twilight saga or its characters….but I do own this story line so anyone steals it I kill them!**

_A/N okay here's the thing if I don't get anymore reviews I just might not post anymore chapters…I'll just let my other half read them…so please review, please review! Pretty please it's all I ask in exchange for me staying up half the night typing up this story. SO REVIEW PLEASE!! This chapter is what has happened to Edward, and our other favorite characters._

**France September 29****th**** 1918** **EsmePOV**

"Would you like to take a walk my dear?" Carlisle asked breaking me from my trance.

I was painting and covered with the paint, "Carlisle I'm filthy!"

"I love you just the same," he kissed my forehead gently, "please walk with me. It's a beautiful evening for it, we could go along the water's edge." He kissed my cheek.

I smiled, "Oh fine you cheat." I smiled at him and followed him to the door. He held out my coat for me and helped me put it on. "Thank you dear."

We walked out the door of our apartment holding hands. We had moved to France two years ago for Carlisle to help the wounded soldiers, he had said he felt he was needed. It never bothered me, I would follow him to the ends of the earth, my savior. Our son followed in his footsteps becoming a medic in the army he was stationed in France; while our daughter was still back home in America living with her aunt. It hurt to have our family separated so, but it was necessary, Carlisle could save these boys and send them back to their mothers, mothers like me.

"Bon soir monsieur Cullen. Madame Cullen." The doorman said.

"Bon soir Jaques." I smiled at him, he looked so much like Jasper. I sighed he had written saying he had gotten leave and was coming to visit this weekend. My baby was coming home, or as close to it as I could get.

Carlisle and I walked down to the beach of the English Channel. I had never even seen the ocean before coming here, Carlisle had though moving from England. When we went home I would miss it's smell. He understood me perfectly, he pulled me closer holding my waist as we walked.

"It will be good to see Jasper again and it's always good to see Emmett, I've missed them so much."

"It will be, I'm sure their both fine though. Rosalie had said she made a new friend, our son-in-law is perfectly fine as well according to Jasper, remember? They both will be here, soon we will see Rosalie again, don't worry love."

I smiled, "I know; I just worry for my children."

I looked along the water's edge, there was something large being pulled in and out with the current. I pulled away from Carlisle to look at it more closely, it was pale, it was a man! "Carlisle!" I screamed. He ran towards me as I ran into the water to pull him out. When he reached me he helped then he checked the boy's pulse. He couldn't have been older then Jasper.

"He's alive. I wonder where he came from?" Carlisle said.

I pulled my coat off and draped it over his body, trying to get rid of the chill. "We have to get him inside. We have to help him."

"I'll be right back." He ran back towards the road to find some men to help us carry him back to our room.

"It's ok everything will be just fine." I said soothingly.

Something shiny caught my eye, the dog tags! I kneeled down to read them; Edward Masen, he was from Chicago, with the Air force, a pilot. That meant that his plane had to have gone down and that his family thought their son was dead. Tears came to my eyes.


	6. Who is she?

**DISCLAIMER: no I don't own the twilight saga or its characters….but I do own this story line so anyone steals it I will hurt them**

_**A/n: **__anyone who can figure out why I picked October 1__st__ gets a big cookie…it actually has a meaning in the story…._

**France October 1****st**** 1918 EdwardPOV **

"Edward, darling, can you hear me? Edward?" a woman's soft voice woke me.

Every part of my body hurt, that had to be a good thing, right? I opened my eyes slowly, the face of a beautiful woman filled my eyes. She looked in her mid-forties, with long wavy Carmel colored hair, with these honey colored eyes. She looked like a sweet woman, American.

"Carlisle, he's awake!" she yelled. A man about her age walked in he had blonde hair with the hazel eyes.

"Hello, I'm Carlisle Cullen and this is my wife Esme." He said, he had a British accent

"Edward?"

The man looked at me questioningly, "Do you not remember?"

"I don't know."

"What do you remember, Edward?"

"A plane, fire, freezing water. Then, then…" I paused I couldn't describe the beautiful brown hair and matching eyes.

"Is that all?" he looked concerned.

"I remember a house, a white house with trees. A woman with reddish hair." It hurt my head think.

"I think you must have hit your head harder then we thought," he paused, "here is what we do know, your name is Edward Masen, you lived in Chicago, the plane you remember was probably your own you are a pilot."

"We found you in the channel. You were nearly dead, Edward. You know we're from Chicago as well." The woman, Esme, said.

I could feel my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Sleep, it will all come back to you eventually. Sleep." The man named Carlisle said.

I closed my eyes and drifted off into a dream.

_Brown eyes so deep one could fall in them and never escape stared at me, they had tears in them. No, eyes that beautiful mustn't cry. What could make them cry? The eyes were surrounded by beautiful brown hair. The whole area smelled of freesia. The most beautiful scent in the whole world. Those eyes seemed to call to me telling me something, they still had tears in them. _

I woke with a start, alone this time. I looked around me, it was a plain room with a dresser and bed. The walls were plain wood as well as the floor. I sat up to get a better view the room had one window. It was sunny outside, the sun shining strait through. Whose were those eyes? Why did it feel like I was dying being here like I needed to be someplace else, with those eyes. I stood up, slowly; I was in a pair of men's slacks and a button up shirt.

I walked to the door on the other side was a parlor of sorts, it had couches, chairs, and an easel with a half painted landscape on it. I heard sounds coming from down the hall to the right. Something told me I shouldn't be snooping but I couldn't help myself. It led to a kitchen, where the woman from the last time woke was making a sandwich.

"Excuse me Madam?" I said softly.

She jumped up, "Oh sorry Edward you frightened me, it's good to see you up and about. Are you hungry?"

"Yes please. Sorry for frightening you Mrs. Cullen."

"Good you remembered, we weren't to sure if you would. Has anything else come back to you?" she asked as she started to make another sandwich.

"Not really. It's very kind of you to take me in, I have no way to repay you."

"I would be offended if you offered. You are about my son's age and I would want someone to watch over him if he was hurt." She smiled softly.

"Is he fighting?"

"Yes he's a medic, he'll be here in two days."

"What's the date?"

"October the third, why?"

"I was supposed to go back the thirteenth. They'll be worried." She'll be worried.

"What are you talking about?" she had stopped what she was doing to stare at me.

"I was supposed to go home, I think, I was flying on my last mission."

She looked surprised, "Edward, I think you had better call your parents and tell them that. So they know your not dead."

I shook my head, "They wouldn't know, only-" I broke off that was all I remembered. I didn't even know what triggered it, I think it was the thought of those beautiful brown eyes crying.

"Only what? Why wouldn't they know?" she asked softly.

"I don't know. But I know they don't know I was supposed to go home, I know that. But I don't remember why. I'm sorry.´

"Nothing to be sorry for. It's good you're getting your memory back so soon. Here." She handed me a plate with a sandwich and some fruit on it.

"Thank you. You really are being too kind."

"Nonsense. Oh here is your stuff. It was wet and ripped so I had it washed and I fixed it for you, but I found these things. It might help with your memory."

She handed me a package of letters the ink smeared from my trip in the Channel, a picture. The picture! It was the girl with the eyes; I looked over the thing greedily trying to figure out her name.

"You remember her, who is she?"

"I don't know, I dreamt about her last night. She would be the one I told. I can't remember her name though." I sighed this was frustrating. Unconceivable that this angel should be sad.

"Maybe this will help more." Esme put a small velvet box on the table.

I pulled it closer and opened it, it was a ring completely beautiful, my mother's. "It was my mother's I don't know why I had it though."

"The girl maybe you were going to propose to her? Do you remember? Was she French?" she asked.

"No. She isn't. I don't know Mrs. Cullen. I….this is so frustrating!"

"It's Esme. And I know it is but you have to keep trying, you have to."

"Thank you for the sandwich, I think I'll lay down again."

"It's a good idea. Sleep well Edward."


	7. Knowledge

**DISCLAIMER: no I don't own the twilight saga or its characters….but I do own this story line so anyone steals it I will hurt them **

**A/N: sorry it took so long to update! i got busy with family...here is the next chapter...**

**France EdwardPOV**

As the days went by more things started to come back to me, but not the girl. Other then a strange need to go back to her, wherever she was, that she needed me. Nothing, it was infuriating! Carlisle kept saying that it would come to me that my mind was just protecting itself. Carlisle and Esme were amazing people they never showed any irritation at me or having to have me in their home. Esme kept instating that I should call my parents, but it just didn't seem like something I needed to do.

I was laying down on the couch reading while Esme was painting, Carlisle had gone to the hospital. Esme had some Debussy playing. Claire de Lune came on and I started to hum.

"Do you like this song?" she asked.

"Yes, I can play it. I used to play piano all the time."

"I wish we had a piano, but neither of us can play. I would like to hear you play." She smiled. "I'm so glad that you are alright, that you are remembering."

I sighed, "Thank you Esme. But it's not really what I want to remember. The next time we pass a piano I shall play for you."

"You still can't remember her? Would you like to hear my theory?"

I sat up, "Alright. Let's hear it."

"I think that you and this girl were-" someone knocked loudly on the door. "One second darling."

She got up and walked to the door the moment she opened the door a big man with dark curly hair swept her up in a big hug he was laughing which made her laugh.

"Hello to you too Emmet." She laughed.

"Hello Mother." He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

He stepped aside to show another man. This one was also tall but skinnier with blonde hair. He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek as well then smiled.

"Come in boys! I have someone here I want you to meet, maybe you can help him." She walked back into the room, "Edward these are my sons Jasper and Emmet." I stood up slowly.

"Edward? I thought you were dead!" Jasper said.

"How do you know him?" Emmet asked.

"You remember him don't you? The pilot, the one that was going back home. He lived in Chicago, his father was that lawyer. The one that got you out of trouble." Jasper said quickly. "How are you alive? You were shot down, while trying to save that drunk idiot in your company. How the hell are you alive?"

"Jasper!" Esme reprimanded.

"Sorry Mom."

"I remember you now! You were set to go home."

"I don't remember you. Sorry about that." I paused, "So that's what happened to me."

"You didn't know?" Emmet said slowly.

"No dear he lost parts of his memory." Esme said softly.

**A/N please please review it makes me feel so loved!! its not hard to do! anyway i just wanted to say that i think i am just going to move forward forward with the story. meaning that, the next chapters will be going on at the same timeish...not weeks behind.**


	8. Surprise

**DISCLAIMER: no I don't own the twilight saga or its characters….but I do own this story line so anyone steals it I kill them! **

_**Author's Note: Alrighty… I had some serious trouble with writing some chapters, I knew where I wanted to go just not how to get there. So after much deliberation with the voices in my head and the best friend I decided to just skip ahead. SO… here is what has happened: **__Rosalie, Alice, and Bella are all friends and Alice and Rosalie have realized that their other halves (Emmet and Jasper) know Edward that he is alive but doesn't remember Bella so they don't tell her. Emmet, Jasper, and Edward have gotten closer they are like brothers. Jacob and Bella have gotten closer he loves her but she still grieves for Edward. It's New Year's Eve, two weeks earlier Edward remembers it all and starts his journey home. __**Also I am aware that the war is over, it just took Edward a little while to figure things out and he didn't want to go back. Sorry that I didn't write all of that in the story, but I just couldn't get it to come out right, so I did the best I could to make the story go on, I hope you all don't hate me too much! **_

**Chicago New Year's Eve **

"Did you have fun tonight, Bella?" Jake asked softly while we walked back home from the park.

"Yes, it was wonderful! The fireworks and the band were so beautiful!" I exclaimed.

Jake chuckled softly, he had been taking me out and spending time with me. He always seemed to know just what to say and not to say. That and I couldn't bare to be with Alice or Rosalie, it hurt to much to know that their loves got to come home and mean didn't. A few tears sprang to my eyes.

"What's wrong Bells? Are you ok?" Jake asked concerned he stopped and turned me to face him.

I shook my head, "It's just the cold and wind." He didn't need to know the real reason. It seemed as though he got angry every time he realized something was wrong because of Edward. He didn't look convinced but started walking more briskly, we were almost to my house now.

It had been a wonderful way to end the past year, the last time I had gone to something like that was on July 4th, with him. I sighed softly, it wasn't I total lie, the cold. It was bitterly cold, colder then normal for January. I was lucky I hadn't fallen yet. We got to the porch of the house. Jake pulled me to a stop.

"Bella there's something I wanted to ask you." He said softly.

I looked at him confused, "What are you talking about you know you can tell me anything Jake."

He looked down I swear he was blushing, "Bells I love you, I've always loved you."

My breathing stopped, no he couldn't be doing this. "Jake," I started.

"No Bella let me get this out. I love you, I want to be with you forever, will you marry me?"

I stared up at him not comprehending what he was saying. No Jake couldn't be asking me this, he was just my friend. I couldn't.

"Please Bella." He said looking in my eyes.

I shook my head to clear it from the dangerous thoughts, "I-I-I need t-to think about it." I stuttered. His face dropped, he looked so disappointed. "Just let me sleep on it, please Jake, for me?"

"Alright Bella. I love you." He leaned down and kissed my forehead then walked away into the falling snow.

I stumbled into the house, Charlie wasn't up anymore. I couldn't marry Jake, could I? He was my friend. But part of me did love him. A small part, the rest was full of unrequited love for a man that would never come back to me. It wouldn't be a bad thing to marry him, Jake was a good man. I didn't want to marry for that though, I couldn't. I sighed again and got ready for bed. Charlie would be pleased if I did marry him. He always thought Jake was more suitable then Edward. Edward. The tears came to my eyes again, how could I marry Jake if my heart was given to another? I climbed into bed and tried to sleep, Jake would be back tomorrow morning and I could ask him to wait for me, tell him I wasn't ready. That's not no, but not yes. I fell into a deep sleep.

I cleaned to house in the morning, Jake always showed up at 11:00 so I had the time to do it and the house needed it. I worked too fast though so I had free time afterwards, something I avoided at all costs. Charlie was gone for the day, at work. Something I didn't have anymore, since the war was over. The clock chimed eleven he would be here any minute then I would tell him that I couldn't right now but later. He couldn't get too mad about that, could he? The doorbell rang, right on time. I walked slowly to the door careful not to trip on my skirts. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

Then froze on the other side of the door wasn't the man I had grown accustomed to seeing on my front porch, no it was the man that haunted my thoughts my dreams. He was staring back at me as I stared at him. How many dreams had I had like this one, that he would show up on my front porch? This had to be another one. But it was too realistic everything, the way his eyes sparkled as they looked at me the smell. I had to have fallen asleep on the couch, and dreamt this like the first time Jake came.

"Bella." He breathed.

That was all it took, I flung myself into his arms and held on to him for dear life. He was back, he felt so real in my arms, the kisses on my head felt just as they used to. He smelled just as he always did. This was the best as far as my dreams went. I clung to him and sobbed.

"Shh love I'm here, I'm back and I won't leave you again. It's alright. Please don't cry love." He said into my hair.

I looked up to his face, his hair was slightly longer then normal. "Tell me you are real. Please be real." I whispered.

"I'm really here, love. I truly really am. I promised you I would come back. I'm here." He said softly staring into my eyes.

I got lost in his green eyes, those green gems. This was too real to be a dream, too much of him was here in my arms. I pulled myself up and kissed him. I pulled myself as close to him as humanly possible but it was not close enough, he pulled me closer seeming to agree that we were not close enough together. He kissed me with such fervor I forgot everything that wasn't him. Slowly he pulled away from me so we could breath, but he didn't loosen his hold.

"Oh Edward, You're really here! You're alive. I missed you so much, I couldn't live without you. Where were you? Why didn't you tell me you were alive?" he cut off my questions.

"I will answer all your questions love. Just not right now." He leaned down to kiss me again. "Bella, I love you. You are the most important thing in my life, I could never, live without you. I know that I left but will you still marry me?" he whispered looking into my eyes

"Edward, yes. I want nothing more." He kissed me gently and pulled something out of his pocket.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I will love you forever and eternity." He placed the ring on my finger.

"And I love you as well." I whispered laying my head on his chest. I had missed this dearly. I sighed peacefully. I glanced slowly around then my eyes froze. Jacob was standing frozen mid-stride. A look of pure agony on his face. "Jake." I whimpered as I pulled away from Edward, it felt like I was being pulled in two.

I ran towards him, "Jake. Jake don't. I'm sorry, Jacob."

He turned and walked away from me as I reached him. I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Jacob." I whimpered tears coming to my eyes.

"No Bella. Go back to your fiancé. Leave me alone!" he shook my off and walked away.


	9. It can't get worse

**DISCLAIMER: no I don't own the twilight saga or its characters….but I do own this story line so anyone steals it I kill them! **

_Author's Note: I am so sorry for not updating sooner!! I didn't leave the story, it just left me momentarily. That and I have started school and I seem to have no free time. I know I know excuses excuses! I am soooo sorry for not updating so please forgive me with this update! _

_**From last chapter: **_

_**He turned and walked away from me as I reached him. I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Jacob." I whimpered tears coming to my eyes. **_

"_**No Bella. Go back to your fiancé. Leave me alone!" he shook my off and walked away. **_

Slowly, I walked back to the porch Edward was sitting in the porch swing watching his feet. I wiped my eyes and watched him, he didn't look up at me. "Edward?" I reached for his hand.

He jerked his hand back and looked up at me. Those green gems shone with anguish. "Who was that?" his voice was harsh, it had never held that tone before.

"Edward, I- Edward please don't. That was Jake we had spent time together. That's all. Edward I love you. Don't do this, please." I whispered, tears fell from my face he made no move to wipe them away.

"Don't what Bella? Did you even think of me at all? Think of our promise? Of anything?" he yelled.

I shrunk back from his anger, "Edward, I…of course I did, everyday every night." I managed to get out through my sobs.

"It sure seems that way Isabella. I have spent all of this time thinking of your face and your face only. It was the only thing that brought me back."

I could only stare at him, the face of my love back from the grave.

"Good day, Miss Swan. I am sorry to have imposed on you for so long." With those words he walked away from me.

I lost him again and this time he wouldn't come back to me. I crumpled up on the porch sobbing.

**APOV**

I ran up to Rose's door and started to pound on it. "Open up, open up!"

"For the love of God! Who is it?" I heard a male voice yell.

"Open the door! I need Rosalie!" I yelled back. We needed to get to Bella this was going to end so badly.

The door swung open to reveal a large man with curly brown hair, "Who are you?"

"It doesn't matter get Rose it's an emergency!" I nearly yelled.

"Alright, alright. Rosie, someone here for you!" He yelled into the house.

I heard her walking down the stairs, "Who is it Em?"

"Rose it's me we have to go! Edward is back!" I yelled at her from outside.

"Bloody hell!" she cursed and ran toward me.

"Wait a minute you know Edward, as in Edward Masen?" the man asked.

"Of course I do. My best friend is in love with him." I said while Rose put her coat on, I started to bounce up and down in anticipation.

"You know Bella? The Bella?" he asked Rose.

"Yes Emmet! But she doesn't know he's alive. We never told her after we figured out who it was you were talking about because it would have broken her more to know that he didn't remember her." She said this all to him fast. "Let's go Alice."

Together we ran out of the house and hailed a taxi to take us to her house faster. "Jasper told me this morning that his friend Edward was home and was going to see the love of his life. The only problem is Jacob Black."

"I never liked him! This is so bad Alice. Why didn't we just tell her?"

"I don't know. But it was a huge mistake." I said softly.

The taxi pulled onto her street I could only hope it wasn't too late to catch her or him before anything happened. The taxi pulled up to her house, we could see a form on the porch. This is so bad. I ran out of the car before it had stopped moving completely.

"Bella? Bella honey? Talk to me." I sat down next to her and Rose and I pulled her in to a sitting position.

"He's gone, he's gone, he's gone." She kept whispering.

Seeing Bella this way brought tears to my eyes, she never was like this. Even when she thought he was dead. I looked at Rose who had the same look on her face as I did on mine.

"Come on Bella, you can't stay outside. Let's go honey." Rose helped lift her from the crumpled position she was in. Once we brought her inside we set her on the couch and went to make tea for her.

"Alice what are we going to do? What happened?" Rose whispered.

I shook my head, "I knew this would happen." I mumbled. "My best guess is he came back and so did Jacob. Edward has always loved her completely he's probably hurt and jealous."

"Oh my, poor Bella losing her love twice." Rose whispered.

When the tea was done we brought it in to Bella, she looked a little better then a few minutes before. But I could see just beneath the surface she was going to crumple again. It was like a part of her had died. When he left to go to war, she stopped eating it took months for her to get remotely back to normal. Then she got the news of his death, she stopped being Bella. Yet I had never seen her this bad.

"Here honey, drink this you'll feel better." Rose offered her a cup.

"Thanks." Bella whispered.

"Oh Bella I'm so sorry! We should have been here for you." I said.

She stopped drinking mid-sip, and turned to look at me slowly, "How did you know what happened? Or what was going to happen?" she said the look in her eyes scared me.

"We knew he was alive Bella. We just didn't want you to get hurt." Rose said softly while stroking her hair.

She jumped up faster then I thought she could move without tripping, "You didn't want to see me get hurt?!" She yelled, "I have spent all of this time mourning his death when I couldn't have been with him! None of this would have happened if it wasn't for you!" she screamed hysterical.

"Bells, please listen to us." I pleaded.

"No! Get out get out! I hate both of you! Get out!" she screamed.

Rose got up and pulled me with her, I stopped to look back at her, my best friend. She was sobbing on the floor. I couldn't leave her like this. "Bella," I started.

"I said get out Alice! I don't know who you are!" she yelled again.

I walked out with tears in my eyes. Our ride back in the taxi was quiet both of us cried softly in the back mourning our lost friend. We hugged good-bye at her door and I walked the rest of the way home. Jasper was sitting on my front steps as I walked up.

"Alice what's wrong?" he jumped up and hugged me.

"She hates me. Jasper my best friend in the whole world hates me." I sobbed.

"Shh. Ali she doesn't hate you she's just hurt right now. It'll all work out I promise."

**BPOV**

I sat and sobbed into my hands, in one day I had gained and lost my love, lost Jake, and lost my two best friends. How could my life get any worse? I heard Charlie's car pull up on the drive, that is how it could get worse. I picked myself off of the floor and nearly ran to my room. That night I cried myself to sleep yet again.


	10. All it takes is a little rain

Seven months, seven whole months without _him_. Or Jake for that matter, or worse then him Alice and Rosalie. Seven months alone. Seven months of Charlie's annoyingly probing stares.

"Damn it Isabella! What on earth happened?" Charlie burst out during our breakfast. "You haven't seen any of your friends for seven whole months Bella! Not only them but Jake. Or for that matter Edward Masen. The way you carried on when he left for Europe and then when you found out that they said he was dead, I would have figured that I would have had to pry you away from his side with a wrench!"

I shrunk back into my chair away from his anger. His words unknowingly poured salt into an opened wound.

"Bella," he started again softly, "honey. I love you and can't stand to see you this way. Tell me what happened. What about Jake you two seemed to be getting close to each other? Or Alice Brandon and Rosalie McCarty?"

Jake's face the last time I saw him burned my eyes. The look said one thing betrayal. "They wouldn't want to see me Father. Any of them especially not Jake or," I passed to take a calming breath, "Mr. Masen." I closed my eyes against the onslaught of tears threatening to spill as I spoke his name. The image of his face burned worse then Jake's because it was his face burning with betrayal and anger and worst yet sadness.

Charlie sighed and got up from his chair. "Oh by the way you have a letter here it arrived early this morning." He looked at me one last time, "Well I have to go to work. Be good, go outside, do something." I thought I heard him mumble something about it being better when I was a nurse.

I got up slowly to do the dishes the letter was calling to me. Who would send me a letter? No one wanted to talk to me, not that I could blame them after the things I said. So it couldn't be anything important. Yet it still called to me. After finishing the dishes, I slowly picked up the envelope the writing immediately drew my attention. It was from Rose! I ripped it open to reveal an invitation and a short note.

_My Dearest Bella, _

_I would understand if you were still angry with me. But Emmet and I would love for you to be our first child's, John Brandon McCarty, god mother. I realize that it is a lot to ask of you with our estranged relationship. But I still thin of you as a dearest friend and couldn't bring myself to trust anyone else with this responsibility. Because I know that you will love him as your own, if you would like to meet him. Please come to our party for him, whether you agree to it or not, I still want to see you desperately. _

_Love your friend forever, _

_Rosalie Lillian McCarty _

The invitation was for a party in one week so their friends could meet their baby. I hadn't even known she was pregnant. It's amazing she still wants to be my friend even after what I said to her! I dropped the letter and ran out the door towards her house. I made it to the corner of her street before it started to rain and rain hard. By the time I got to her door I was soaked to the bone, though I couldn't bring myself to care. The whole time there it was amazing that I had only fallen once. At her door I knocked and tried vehemently not to look like a wet dog. A large man opened the door, whom I could only guess was her husband Emmet.

"May I help you, Miss? If you're looking for shelter there's a hospital a block done I could drive you there if you would like." He said. It looked as if he was trying not to laugh.

"Oh! I'm sorry my name is Isabella Swan, I'm a friend of Rosalie's. She sent me a letter today. I just have to see her. I'm terribly sorry for they way I look but you see I just ran out of my house and-"

"Hold it there! It's aright all you had to say is you were here for Rosie. Unfortunately she's out right now, visiting her parents. But she should be back soon." He said quickly interrupting my rant.

"Oh, I'm sorry to have bothered you would you tell her I came by." I whispered looking down. I started to walk away.

"Hey I didn't say you had to leave squirt. Why don't you come in and get dried off? You can wait for her here. I want to get to know the woman Rose says is the perfect god mother for my son." He chuckled and pulled me inside. After shutting the door he stared at my sodden look. "Hm. Let's figure out how to get you upstairs so you can change, wouldn't want you to catch a cold." He had his finger tapping his chin as he paced back and forth in front of my place in the entry way.

I burst out laughing he just looked so comical standing there, then the whole situation of my running nearly a mile in the rain to see Rose who wasn't even here. He stopped and looked at me then started to laugh as well. I don't know how long we stood there staring at each other and laughing but it most have been awhile since my teeth started to chatter.

"I got it!" he yelled jumping up and down like a five year old. "Now don't get mad or hit me or anything, but Rose'll skin me alive if I let you get the carpet wet and dirty." Then he did the most unexpected thing in the world, picked me up and carried me up the steps.

"What are you doing?!" I nearly yelled. "This isn't appropriate!"

"It's the only way I can figure out. If I let you sit there soaking wet Rose would have killed me but if I got the carpet dirty she would have killed me, so we both win now." He set me down in the bath room. "There. Now hold on one minute while I find something for you to wear, and a towel, or two." He chuckled as he walked out.

A few minutes later he came back carrying some warm fluffy towels and a robe. "Sorry about the clothes but that's all I could find you're a lot shorter then Rose."

"Thank you . You didn't have to do this."

"How'd you know my name? I never introduced myself."

"I figured that you had to be Emmet from the way she described you and the picture she showed me."

"Ah. Well I'll leave you to it." He said and walked away.

It took some effort to get the sodden clothes off then even more effort to try and warm up. What are the odds that I would get stuck in a summer pop up? It'd be just my rotten luck to catch a cold as well. I sighed, but it was worth it. I hadn't had this much fun in ages and ages. Finally after drying I put the rob on, it was still to long for me and not appropriate for me to be wearing in the presence of a man that was not my husband. But it was all I had. Slowly I walked down the steps and found Emmet in the living room with a fire made and blankets.

"Here, sit down on that couch and you'll get the most heat." After I sat down he piled the blankets on top of me.

"Thank you so much Mr. McCarty. You didn't have to do any of this." I smiled at him.

"First off it's Emmet. Second of course I did any friend of Rosie's is a friend of mine. And I think this is the start of a great friendship." He smiled and slid down into a chair.

"Then call me Bella. And I couldn't agree more." I paused and looked around me, "What were you doing before I showed up looking half drowned?"

"Actually I was calling Mr. Cullen. He's a buddy of mine, well my brother-in-law. He is supposed to be coming by along with his girl. They were going to entertain me. Especially Alice, that's his girl."

"Alice is coming here?!" I squeaked.

"You know Alice? Well that makes things easier."

"I also know Jasper, we are all great friends, or were. I don't know if Alice will want to see me." I sighed, tears came to my eyes.

"Why not?"

"I told her and Rose I hated them and never wanted to see them again. It wasn't true I was just angry at myself and hurt! I could never hate them!" I sobbed.

"Hey, hey. It's alright Bella. Please don't cry. Please! I know they don't hate you! I'm so stupid for not making the connection, of you being _the Bella Swan_. They both will be so happy to see you, you'll wish them gone again. Shh, don't cry squirt, it's alright." He came over and gave me a big bear hug.

"Cant—breath!"

"Oh sorry! But don't worry!"

"Thank you Emmet, you're sweeter then I expected." I smiled at him. He only gave a loud laugh.

"Well thanks squirt!" he got up and went back to his chair. "So um, not to pry or anything, and you don't have to say anything I just want to know if I need to hurt someone. What happened with Edward Masen?"

It felt like I was being stabbed as he said his name, how stupid of me to forget that he was a friend of Edward's. "Umm, well, he…I." I paused to take a deep breath you have to get over this Bella, he's not coming back this time. He doesn't love you anymore. "After I found out he was dead, well months after, a friend of mine, Jacob Black, started to come by and visit me and take me places. I always thought of it as just a friendship, the night before Edward came home, he proposed to me. I hadn't given him an answer, I knew what I would end up saying but I couldn't bring myself to loose him as well. SO I told him to let me think on it. I suppose he took that as a definite yes to his answer. The next morning when Edward came to the door I was expecting Jake. It was like a dream come true seeing him there, in the flesh. The love of my life, was back from the grave." I stopped to gather breath; I was in close danger of sobbing. Saying this story felt like knives were stabbing my entire body repeatedly. In fact I think I would have taken the knives to this pain.

"Bella you don't have to continue if you don't want to I should never have pried." Emmet said softly.

"No I need to say this, I need to get over it. I can't live as a recluse forever." I paused again, "He proposed to me right then and there, I still have his ring." I pulled out the ring I wore on a chain. "I know I shouldn't have it, that I should give it back to him but I can't bring myself to do it. Anyway, I of course without a moments thought said yes, even with thought I would say yes to him. I would do whatever it was he wanted of me without thinking twice about it. But Jake came right then and saw me with Edward, not only saw me with Edward saw me kissing Edward. It wasn't like he didn't know about my love for Edward, but I think it broke his heart seeing that. When I saw him I ran to him and tried to talk to him but he wouldn't let me explain.

"When I got back to Edward with tears in my eyes, I think he thought I was untrue to him. He yelled at me, and left, walked away without looking back to me. I have lost him three times and this time I won't get another miracle. When Alice and Rosalie found me on the porch they made me tea. After they told me they knew he was alive I got angry, and blamed them for the whole situation. For the past seven months I have spent all of my time mourning for it all." Try as I may a few tears escaped, "I am so stupid!"

"Aw, Bells you are anything but stupid. Anyone would have acted like that and Edward is a stubborn ass, excuse my French, for doing that to you. He should have known, in fact he did know that you knew he was dead. I mean after he figured out who you were. He is the stupid one for getting mad at you. Trust me." Emmet said softly while looking into my eyes.

It was impossible to doubt his sincerity, he meant every word that he said to me and always would I think. "You're a good man Emmet, a very good one."

He laughed again, "Thank my momma for that! She all but skinned me for being anything but that." I laughed at his horror struck face.

Someone knocked on the door in the middle of our laughter, "I'll go get that stay here. I don't want you to get sick, I'd hate to see what Rose'd do to me." He shook his head frightened, which made me laugh all the harder. Who would have thought that this big, no huge man would be terrified of his mother and of his wife? No I couldn't blame him for being scared of Rose. She could be very terrifying.

"Emmet McCarty how do you have in there? Who?" I could hear Alice's voice yell. I wanted to get up and run to her so badly, but seeing the state I was in probably wouldn't help wither of us out.

"Ow! Alice stop it! That hurts! Alice ow! Go look for yourself. It was this beggar woman that came to the door I was being nice." He said.

I laughed imagining his face and then Alice's livid one.

"Bella?! Isabella Marie Swan is that you I hear in there?!" She yelled running into the room.

"Hi Alice." I said sheepishly.

She screamed and the next thing I knew she was on top of me hugging the life out of me, "Oh Bella I am so sorry! Please forgive me for not telling you it was a huge mistake I should have just told you! Please tell me you don't hate me I can't live without you! Life isn't fun anymore. I can't even shop!" she said this all so fast I had to really listen to catch it all.

"OH Alice! I've missed you so much! It was my fault, I shouldn't have gotten mad at you and Rose! Please forgive me!"

Soon both of us were crying and hugging each other, then we were laughing at our own foolishness. "Bella what happened to your clothes? And why in God's name is there a fire in July?"

"I got caught out in the rain, coming to visit Rose." I said laughing.

"What will I do with you?" she paused and looked at Emmet, "And you! How could you not tell me immediately that Bella was here?! I am so going to tell Rose!"

Emmet looked sick to his stomach.


	11. Goodbye love

**DISCLAIMER: I ONLY OWN STORY LINE**

I spent the entire day with Emmet, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie, it was the happiest I had been since that day. Emmet kept the mood light, and just being with my two best friends made me happy, Jasper was the kind big brother I had never had. Emmet and Rose drove me home just before Charlie arrived. I had dinner cooking as he walked in.

"How was your day Bells?" he asked.

"I saw Alice, Rose, and Jasper today and met Rose's husband Emmet. It was so nice." I said this all in a rush the way Alice speaks when she is excited.

He chuckled, "Good, good. Guess who I ran into today?" he asked conversationally as he sat down.

The way he spoke made me nervous, "Whom?"

"Jacob Black."

With that my good mood was gone, "Oh."

"He wants to marry you Isabella." He said.

I spun around so fast it made me dizzy, "I haven't spoken to him in months." I whispered.

I couldn't marry Jake, I loved him as a brother, as a friend, but my heart belonged to a man that never wanted to see me again. That hated me, nevertheless it was his, and would always be his until I died.

"That's why it seemed so funny to me, until he said he had already asked you but never got answer. Bells he's a great man. I think it might be a good idea." He said looking at me.

"What?" I yelled. "You're going to make me marry him? Why?" I felt tears prick my eyes.

"Lower your voice. What do you have against Jake? You two were inseparable not too long ago."

More tears formed in my eyes, "It's nothing against Jake. But I don't love him."

Charlie sighed, "It's a good marriage. He loves you, and you will grow to love him. You are already good friends."

The tears fell from my eyes and Charlie looked away, "Please don't do this to me Father, please don't." I whispered.

"Why for heaven's sake? Other then love." I shook my head not having an answer I could give him. "People don't always marry for love, you and Jake have known each other for a long time, you can't know if you love him or not."

"Please. I can't marry him." I whispered.

Charlie looked back at me, "Isabella, I'm not doing this to get rid of you, I would keep you with me forever if I could. But he loves you, and you being married to Jake, it will be good for you. He's going to come and ask you personally tonight, clean up your face please."

I stared at him for a minute then turned and walked up to my room. This couldn't be happening to me. Why God? Why? What did I do to deserve any of this? Edward. Edward, what will he think now? More tears fell from my eyes. I turned to face the mirror and washed my face erasing the tear stains. Placed the necklace with His ring back around my neck, even with this I couldn't give it back to him, I needed any small part of him I could have to survive. I put a higher necked dress on and stared at myself in the mirror until Charlie knocked on my door saying Jake was here to see me.

I stood up and placed the ring in my bodice and walked out the door and down the stairs. Jake led me outside and apologized for being cruel and not speaking to me. I couldn't hear his words just the main ideas of them, not the individual words. I looked at him trying to look normal. He got down on one knee and said those dreaded words the words that sealed my fate.

Good-bye love, "Yes Jake I will marry you." He stood up and picked me up spinning me around as a tried not to sob from the pain in my chest.


	12. Where our story ends

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! **

_**A/N: Here's the next chapter sorry it took so long to get out; I've been really busy lately. **_

"Jasper how could she do this to me?" I yelled.

"She thought you were dead, she thought you weren't coming back. Would you rather she stopped living and loving?" he said without looking up from his book.

"How can you take her side?" I had to pause thinking of her felt like a knife was being driven into my heart. "I thought…I mean when she opened the door, she looked so happy…I thought." By the end it was no more then a whisper.

He looked up at my change in tone, "Edward did you even think maybe you misinterpreted the entire thing? That it's not what you think," I clenched my jaw and pinched the bridge of my nose to calm down, "I'm not saying that she didn't love you, but maybe this whole thing with Jacob Black."

"I know I didn't. She ran strait to him and hugged him! Jacob Black!" I hissed.

"So go get your engagement ring back, she's getting married." He suggested.

I couldn't do that, because selfish as I am I want her to have part of me. No matter if she didn't love me I would forever love her until the day I died. No even after death I would love her, if she still lived I would still stay with her, if she didn't live I would stay near her. My beautiful Bella, everywhere I went reminded me of her. I couldn't get away from her face, every spot screamed of our love story.

I maid walked in interrupting my thoughts, "Mr. Whitlock your fiancée is here."

He put his book down, "Let her up please." She left and he turned to me, "Edward you are my friend, a brother, so I say this with love, not everything is as it seems, and since you are obviously still completely in love with her do something about it."

"Jasper I-" Before I could finish the door opened and my body stopped working. I would know that laugh anywhere. There was Alice Brandon and behind her a smiling Bella. I couldn't move, her face brought every pain and memory into sharp focus, her eyes widened when she saw me.

Alice moved first, "I didn't realize you had company Jazz, we can just leave."

Jasper shook his head standing, "It's fine Ali." He walked to her and embraced her.

That broke my trance; the love between them was painful to watch. I turned to face the fire place staring into it, anything but to look at Bella, for if I did I would surely fall to my knees begging for her presence.

"Edward, it's been a long time. How have you been since you got back?" Alice said looking at me.

Before the war, Alice and I had been very close. "Yes, a long time. I've been good. And you?"

I was acutely aware at how her eyes bore into mine seeming to know my every lie, "Very good." Her stare made me aware of how I must of looking, tired and unshaven.

"When was the last time you slept?" I'd know the voice the spoke even if I were dead.

I looked towards her, "Why does that concern you Miss Swan?" Try as I may I couldn't make my voice kinder.

She flinched back at my tone, causing such guilt. I got a good look at her, she looked like she hadn't slept or eaten well in weeks, months. "I could ask the same of you Bella, and then add on your eating habits." Her name burned my throat coming out.

She blushed that lovely pink, I drunk in the sight of her, "I have nightmares." She answered truthfully, she could never lie.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Alice and Jasper leave the room. I would pay for this time, as would Jasper. "What could you have nightmares about? What on earth would be so frightening?" My tone was harsh again.

Those big beautiful deep brown eyes filled with tears, "This." She mumbled so quietly she must not have meant for me to hear it.

I sighed and turned to say the fireplace again, "I heard of your engagement, congratulations. When's the date?" I said cynically.

"Thank you. We can't decide on a date."

"You always said you wanted a September wedding." I commented turning back towards her.

More tears filled those eyes, "He doesn't agree with that idea." She whispered.

The question was burning me, I had to ask it of her. Though the answer would hurt just as much, "Do you love him?"

"I don't believe that is a proper question." She stuttered and blushed.

"Since when did you care about being proper? It never bothered you before." I gave a dark chuckle remembering days spent wrapped in each other's arms in a boat on the lake.

Her cheeks turned a deeper red yet, her mouth opened yet no sound came out. Watching her caused more burning, I turned towards the fireplace again. I heard the soft swish of her skirts, her leaving for the last time, then I felt her hand on my shoulder. Involuntarily I flinched from it, the hand was gone just as fast as it was placed there.

"Edward I" she paused, "I'm so sorry. So very sorry. I wish I could change it, things they aren't what you think they are." She stopped again as I turned to face her, "I love-"

I had to stop her there if she said his name it would kill me, "I don't want to hear it Bella! How could you do it? How? I thought you loved me! You agreed to marry me! You were the only thing that brought me home! If you had changed so much why let me make a fool of myself? Did you enjoy that, did that give you a sick pleasure? Letting me think things were still the same? Did it?" my voice rose dangerously close to a yell. Tears formed again in those damned eyes, those eyes that held me like nothing else. Tears that cut at me and made me feel like such an ass for saying of that. I didn't matter, only her happiness.

"I never meant this. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I never meant it, or wanted it. Edward please believe me, I never lied to you. I could never lie to you, it's impossible." She stuttered.

As her tears started to fall my arms itched to hold her close to me, to beg forgiveness. To say how sorry I was, but the gleam of light from her engagement ring held me to my spot. I was losing the battle though as she stared at me with tears falling from her eyes. Uncontrolled my leg took a step towards her just as the door opened.

"Bella?" that one voice ended everything and shattered my heart even farther. I turned towards the fireplace again as she wiped her face from the encounter.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" she said turning.

Alice and Jasper appeared in the doorway behind her scowling at her fiancée. Jasper looked towards me sadly.

"We were going to lunch with my father, remember?" he chuckled at her.

From the corner of my ear I could see her shake her head, "No I knew that, but what are you doing here?"

He scowled, "Your father told me where you would be so I came to collect you."

Bella deserved someone better, so much better then him. Someone that knew her, knew what she was like. "Oh, is it time already?" she asked softly.

"Yes. Are you ready to go? Or is there something you need to finish up?" I felt his eyes on my back. I turned to face him and she turned towards me.

"No I'm ready to leave. Good-bye Mr. Mason. Alice, Jasper." She turned and left with him.

This time it was her that walked out of my life and I don't know how I'll live without her.


	13. Be Strong Love

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!!! SHOCKING I KNOW! **

"Come on Bells he wasn't that mean was he? I mean its Edward." Rosalie said as she searched my dresses for a suitable one for the evening.

"Yes, yes it could have been. It hurt worse then thinking he was dead," I choked a little on the phrase, "or him walking away again." My eyes started water thinking about it. "Look I don't want to talk about it, it just makes things more" I paused searching for the correct word, "difficult."

She sighed, "What about this one? I've never seen you wear it, it's gorgeous! This color would look wonderful lovely on you." She pulled out one of the forbidden dresses, one of the ones that _he_ loved.

"No." I said harshly. "Not that one."

She looked at me strangely, "Alright not this one. Though it would look divine on you." She sighed.

John was laying on my bed sound asleep, "He's such a good child, Rose, I will never know how that happened with Emmet as his father." I teased trying to get away from the negative territory.

She chuckled, "Me either. Alright Bella listen to me well. You are going to the home of the famous Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme for a social dinner that dress is the only suitable one you have in there. Why won't you wear it?" she sat down at my dressing table.

I stared at the dress, the memories washing over me, the first time we met I wore that dress, the day at the carnival, he proposed to me in that dress. _'I love that color on you.' _He would always say. Why wouldn't I wear it? I was getting married to another man, it was time to get over the childish dream that I would live happily ever after with the love of my life. "Alright I'll wear it." I glanced up at her with tears in my eyes.

"Bella, this is wrong. You shouldn't marry" she started.

"Rose we've had this conversation, just please drop it." I stopped to take a deep breath. "Please help me pick out some jewelry; you know I'll fail at it." I smiled a little, as the time moved on it got easier to fake the correct emotions to make people stop worrying.

"Where is it?" I pointed to the jewelry box on the table. She picked it up and brought it to the bed, sitting down. "Alight let's have a look." She opened the box just as John began to fuss.

"I'll take care of him don't worry." I picked him up off of the bed. "What's the matter, big boy? Don't cry." He looked up at me and started to giggle. "What are you laughing at? What's so funny?" I started to tickle him making him giggle all the louder.

"See this is why you are my child's god Mother." She smiled, pulling out a sapphire necklace. "God Bells I don't understand why you don't wear half of this stuff, it's beyond beautiful."

I stopped tickling John, "Because Edward gave them to me, or loved it on me." I sighed. John started to fuss again at not being the center of attention. "You have to be at the center of everything don't you." I started to tickle him again.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry." She whispered.

"It's fine Rose. That is a very pretty necklace." I said.

"Then this necklace it is, and clip your hair up with this comb." She held them both up for me to look at.

"That's fine Rose. Just put it all back on the table please." I said over John's giggling.

She smiled and stood to take the jewelry box back to the table as the bottom opened and two envelopes and a ring fell out. "Oh I'm so sorry Bella." She bent to pick everything up. Then looked at me, "This is the letter saying he was dead isn't it?" she asked.

I nodded staring at the ring and other envelope.

"You never gave him his ring back? Or opened this letter?" she whispered.

The tears formed in my eyes again, "I couldn't, I can't give back the last bit I have until he asks for it, I just can't bring myself to do it." I reached for them both, "And this, I couldn't open when I received it, it came with the other letter." My fingers stroked the writing.

"Bella, I'm going to go, I think you need to read that letter. Come on John let's go home to Papa." She said picking him up as I stared to the letter.

I heard the door softly click closed as she left, the room was suddenly very empty and quiet. Slowly I looked at the letter; it was in his beautiful script addressed to me, with his name, rank, unit, and where he was stationed as the return. It was some town in Northern France I couldn't even begin to pronounce. I slowly turned it over to open it with my nail careful not to rip it. Tears were falling silently down my face as I opened it and pulled the letter out of the envelope.

I slowly unfolded the page, short for one of his letters to me, and began to read through the tears.

_My dearest Bella, _

_You will probably receive this letter day if not minutes before my own arrival back to me. Instead of having a letter to read, you will be able to hear these words from my lips. I love you. And can't wait for you to be mine, lawfully, not just through the heart, so that no man may try to take you from me. I must go on one last flight before my return to you, as always I shall fly with you as my luck charm. Please my love be strong in these last days of our separation, knowing that my thoughts are always with you even though I can't be. My arms ache to hold you in them, they miss your warmth. I can't wait for you to meet some of the men I've met, like Emmet, you'd love him, or Jasper, and you'd also love him. Also we've been invited to supper at another friend's home, Walter, he says his wife makes the best steaks in all of Illinois, and I told him he obviously hadn't had any of my Bella's cooking. Love, soon we will be together again, and I will never leave your side again. _

_Until we meet, _

_Your loving Edward _

A sob racked through my chest reading his letter, if only his words were true, if only he was here next to me never leaving my side. Edward. I continued to sob staring at his letter, until the first tear it the paper smearing the ink. I quickly moved it away from me to keep it from further damage, it was too precious a thing to be ruined. I stared at the ring that was right next to it, wishing it could be on my finger. No. I was engaged to Jake, not Edward, not anymore. This was supposed to get easier, missing him, it was supposed to stop hurting after a while. After seeing he didn't love me anymore, it was supposed to stop hurting. Another sob came as the tears slowed, but the pain stayed the same. The clock chimed four o'clock I needed to get ready to be ready for Jake to pick me up, to go to dinner. I took deep breathes to try to stop the pain that never went away.


	14. Gone again

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTTA! **

_Author's note: sorry it's been so long! The updates will be coming more regularly, as of next week. I'll let ya'll know when they will be with the next post. As always thanks for reading! _

I hated parties, with a passion, they were loud noisy things with people you didn't even know talking to you about your own life. What's worse, is that now all the men wanted to talk about my time in the war, and then compare it to there glory days. All I wanted to do was sit in my empty house and be miserable. A fate I deserved for ruining _her_ life, or better yet for coming back into _her_ life. Everyone who was anyone in Chicago was at this party, if it wasn't Carlisle and Esme I wouldn't be here. I sighed, as I pretended to listen to some Colonel talk about his time in the army. I let my eyes wander around the room, I recognized some of the people that danced and walked around, but they only served as painful reminders of _her_.

"Edward, darling?" Esme tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned to look at her, "Will you dance with me?"

I barked a short laugh, "Of course Esme! Excuse me gentlemen, my savior calls." I took her arm and led her to the dance floor.

"You were on the verge of being caught at daydreaming. You know Edward, I think of you as one of my own sons, and you've been even more melancholy sense you got back then when you were trying to figure out your mystery love."

I couldn't look her in the eye, "I have no idea what you are talking about Esme."

"Edward Anthony." She hissed, "Don't you dare lie to me."

I looked down at her, "Esme, not here please. Not today. Please." I begged.

She sighed, "Alright darling. So are you enjoying yourself at least?"

"No not really." I stated softly as the song ended. I started to walk away.

"Edward there are some people I would love for you to meet. Please"

I looked into her eyes and couldn't say no. Damn, she was worse then my mother was, perhaps because I had her to thank for my life. I let her lead me through the crowd, and I talked to the people she brought us to being polite and pretending to enjoy myself. That is until I spotted Carlisle and made my brake.

"Esme I'm going to speak with Carlisle." I kissed her cheek.

"No moping young man."

I chuckled; Esme was a god send like a mother. I walked over to Carlisle.

"I see you've escaped, how'd you do it?" Carlisle chuckled.

"Said I would come to speak with you." He laughed harder.

"How are you Edward?"

I sighed, "Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm perfectly fine."

"Because Edward you don't look fine."

"Look Carlisle, nothing is the matter with me. I'm just-"I froze not twenty feet away from me, was Bella. She looked beyond beautiful in her blue gown. There she was within my reach again, she kept walking back into my life haunting me.

"Edward? Edward are you alright?" Carlisle asked concerned.

I nodded still staring at her; she was talking with Rosalie and Emmet holding their son. Around her neck was the sapphire necklace I had given her a year ago and her beautiful long hair was pulled up in the matching comb. I couldn't stop my heart from speeding up as I stared at her, she started to laugh at something that Emmet had said. It was as if the lord above was sending her back to me, within my sight again. The ache in my chest lessened some in her presence.

"Edward, go talk to her." Carlisle said.

"No I can't, it…I said some…"

"Edward go." He pushed me slightly in there direction.

"No Emmet I will not go catch a pig with you! Rose how could you have married him?" she giggled.

"I married him for looks." Rosalie answered.

"Aww thanks darling." Emmet laughed. "I don't know how you do it Bells he never sits still, I think he likes you more then he likes me." Emmet laughed.

Bella laughed again, it sounded like bells ringing. "Edward!" Emmet called as he noticed me. "How are you tonight brother?" he pulled me into their group.

"Fine Em. Hello Rose. Bella." I said looking at them both. But after I looked at Bella I couldn't stop staring, "You look beautiful tonight."

She blushed, "Thank you Mr. Mason. I wasn't aware that you knew the Cullen's." she said while throwing a vicious look at Rosalie.

"Yes they saved me." I still couldn't stop myself from staring at her. I noticed immediately that her eyes pooled with unshed tears. "And you?" I just wanted her to stop thinking the sad thoughts, to make her smile again.

She swallowed, "Rose is one of my close friends, she invited me, or I suppose John invited me." She smiled as she looked down at the child.

"Bella I need to go feed him, I'll be back soon." Rose smiled as Bella handed John to her. "Emmet I need your help."

"But-"

"Emmet." Rose nearly growled.

He leaned down to kiss Bella's forehead, "I'll see you later little sister."

I couldn't stop the jealousy that was raging around in my body at seeing Emmet kiss her, I wanted to kill him. He clapped me on the back, "Until later Eddie." The monster went back to its hiding spot as I rolled my eyes.

"You seem to be close with Emmet and Rosalie." She commented.

I smiled slightly, "Yes, Emmet fought with me, those bonds run deep. How are you?"

"Fine." She lied.

"Bella, really, you hate parties. Besides you can't lie." I stated leaning against the wall.

She smiled slightly, "I suppose you're right. I bit I don't want to go home. Too many memories."

"Would you like to go for a walk?" I blurted out. I just couldn't bare to let her leave, not yet at least.

She stared at me, "Alright."

I held my arm out to hers and led her outside to the gardens, "Beautiful evening." I commented.

She looked down and blushed. Not saying anything.

"What did you mean by too many memories?" This conversation would go with me as burns I already knew, but now that she was with me I couldn't let her go. As long as I was going to go through the pain I might as well get as much out of it as possible.

She blushed again, "Just that…it holds a lot of memories. Wearing this dress coming home from parties, it just brings back many memories." She paused seeming to gather her thoughts, "Why didn't your parents get the letter saying you were dead? Why me?"

Pain ripped through me as the memories fell into my mind like bombs, "You really couldn't figure out that one for yourself?"

She stared straight ahead, "But your parents had a right to know. More then I did." She whispered.

I shook my head, "Don't you remember anything I said to you? You are the only thing that matters. I could care less about my parents."

Her head snapped up to stare at me. I found myself getting lost in those deep brown eyes yet again, leaning closer to her. I wanted nothing more then to kiss her to hold her to be the one she was marrying. We were so close, close enough to kiss her, close enough to be with her again. Close enough to try to make it all better, the way it should have been. "Bella." I whispered before leaning forward to kiss her softly on the lips. It was as if I was finally healed could finally breathe again when her arms wrapped around my neck and she kissed me back. We separated both trying to catch our breaths, "Isabella I-"

Her eyes grew wide, "I'm sorry. I should have never, I mean. I-I-I have to go." She pulled her arm free of mine and ran back into the house.

Gone, again. Could I do nothing right? What did I do to deserve this? Have her then loose her repeatedly? I sat down on the damp grass sighing. She was the only thing that ever mattered to me, the only thing that kept me alive. What a cruel twist of fate that I would loose her when I got home.

"Edward?" I heard Carlisle call.

I sighed, "Over here."

He came around the corner and stared at me, "I'm sorry son."


	15. A party

**BPOV **

Could I do nothing right? It was my destiny to break and ruin everything good and wonderful in my life. Or if not wonderful at least decent? The few things left in my life worth living for, how could I do that? To _him_ to Jake, to myself? TO have _him_ in my arms again to kiss him again, and then I ran away, I left him again! I slowly made it back to the balcony and composed myself, wouldn't that be wonderful walk into a party a complete mess. I can hear exactly what Jake would say, what everyone would say. True things about me, that I couldn't have just one man, I needed to break the hearts of many. I loved him, I would never stop loving him. It would be an impossible sin. I leaned against the railing. Nights like these always reminded me of that time long ago when life was simpler easier.

_Alice and I were walking around the large room, she was chatting on about all of the city's gossip and of the fashions. She was the reason I was in this dress and it this party. I detested them all of the attention and forward men. I looked around the room scanning the faces of the crowd, it was at that moment I saw him walk in with Jasper Cullen, he has been courting Alice for a month now. She swears that he will propose to her. I had never seen the man with him before. _

"_Alice who is that with Jasper?" _

"_Oh that's, Edward Masen. He's quite handsome and very rich. Come on let's go to Jasper." _

"_No Alice I'll stay here for a while." She shrugged her shoulders and walked to him. _

_I leaned against a pillar and watched him as he moved about the room, I couldn't be sure but it seemed that he would stare at me then look away when I looked back at him. Michael Newton was starting to make his way toward me through the crowd, now that was a dance I just would not be having. I started to move the opposite direction, but of course I tripped and had to catch myself on the next pillar. I leaned against it and tried desperately not to blush, Mr. Masen something about him drew me to him, or drew my eyes. It wasn't that he was hansome, but god he truly is handsome, maybe it's that he seems to want to be here as much as I do, that being the center of attention seems to make him uncomfortable. _

"_May I have this dance Miss Swan?" I blushed at the attention and at my own absent mindedness, how could I miss him walking up to me._

"_Of course Mr. Masen." I managed to stutter out. _

_He smiled this smile that made my knees give way and led me to the center of the dance floor. Debussey's Claire de Lune started to play and Mr. Masen started to lead me around the floor. _

"_You look beautiful tonight Miss Swan. Your name suits you." We were so close he whispered it in my ear. _

_I blushed crimson, I'm fairly certain that my face is the same color as the red roses in the garden outside. "Thank you. You are very kind. Are you new to Chicago or just new to these people?"_

_He chuckled and smiled that smile again, the sound was musical. "No I'm originally from Chicago, but I have been in London studying. It's good to be home." _

"_London? I've always dreamt of going there. I want to travel." _

"_It is beautiful in its own way, I'll give you that." He chuckled again. "And you?" _

"_I have always lived here; my father is the police chief." _

"_Yes, your father knows me well I would always get into such trouble with him." _

_I laughed, "I think that's his favorite part of the job scaring children." _

I wiped my eyes quickly, this is absurd. Isabella you are a grown woman with responsibilities and a fiancé. That future is gone reality set in stop pining after it. It seemed that it was impossible to stop myself from wishing for that other future. I sighed softly as I stared out into the garden, he still hadn't come back in yet, I wonder if he had left the party altogether. No he wouldn't do that because of me. More tears started to form in my eyes. This was not how I planned my life.

"Bella?" I heard Emmet call as he tapped my shoulder. "Everyone was looking for you, you disappeared on us all."

I turned around slowly, "I'm coming in Em I just need a moment." By the end my voice cracked and the tears got worse.

How did I come to this? This broken shell of a person, I used to know what I wanted I used to have all of it. Even then I used to be happy. There was never I moment of happiness in my life since I got that letter. Nothing worked for me anymore.

"Oh Bells, come here." He held open his arms.

There was nothing I could do at that moment except throw myself into the waiting arms of the man that was like my brother.

"It's going to be ok Bella, someway we'll make it better. I promise." He whispered.

I dried my eyes slowly, this just wasn't healthy anymore none of it was. I had to do something to fix the problem, something anything. "Thank you Emmet." I pulled away continuing to dry my eyes. "I have to go back to Jake, I'm going home."

Emmet sighed, "Alright Bells, if that's what you want."

I walked back into the room searching for Jake, he wasn't hard to find. Standing almost a foot above everyone made him easy to spot even from my height. I quickly made my way over to him, smiling politely at the people I passed. He was talking to some other men, obviously military from the way they stood. The war may have been over and no one wore uniforms anymore but that didn't mean it wasn't just as easy to spot the soldiers. Though working in the hospital might have helped some.

I linked my arm through his, "Pardon me gentlemen."

"Bella! I was looking for you, you ran off on me." He smiled warmly down at me.

My heart clenched at what I had previously done to him, this man loved me and part of me loved him. He just wasn't and never would be the love of my life my soul mate. "I went for a walk in the garden, I was getting warm." I tried to smile but I don't think it came out all of the way.

He looked at me curiously, "Do you feel better now?"

I nodded my head slowly.

"Good." He leaned down and kissed my cheek. "I apologize gentlemen, this is my lovely fiancé Isabella Swan."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." I replied.

"Bella if you wouldn't mind I would love a dance with you after I finish up here." Jake asked me.

It was his signal for me to go away and leave him and his men to business. I fact that irritated me. Just because I was a woman does not mean that I didn't deserve to know things. "Of course. I'm just going to go sit down."

He kissed my cheek once more before I walked away. I sat at a table on the edge of the dance floor entranced by the way the dancers moved around each other. I hoped and prayed I didn't see him, that would be just too much to take in one night. The song ended softly and the dancers stopped moving.

Esme Cullen came out to the middle of the floor, "I would like to treat everyone here with a song played by my son, he is an amazing pianist."

As the first chord started I knew the song and knew who it was that was playing it.


End file.
